All the single mommies (echo:all the single mommies)

This post is a shout-out to all the single mommies out there...especially a dear friend of mine who is the epitome of strength, courage, and is brave beyond belief. Let's start out with a song, shall we?

"All the single mommies (echo: all the single mommies) All the single mommies (echo: all the single mommies) so put your hands up....oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh, whoa oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh oh. That's all you get...I'm too tired to change all the words.

So I've been married for 6 1/2 years to the love of my life. I'm fortunate enough to have found someone who gets me and accepts all the crazy that comes with me (and friends, there's a lot of crazy here) Not only is he a great husband, but he's an out of this world dad. He's been 100% hands on since the beginning. With our first, miss Grace, I labored for 23 hours before I needed a c-section. Many of you know that with a c-section comes days of immobility, especially the first few days. David stayed with me with me in the hospital all 4 days and nights I was there. He was the first to get up when she cried and would change her diaper to let me rest. He would hand her to me when she was hungry because he knew that I couldn't get up, and the days after we got home, he took care of her 100% when I suffered from a spinal headache and couldn't even sit up. He was Mr. Mom when I couldn't be. When I had moments of panic, suffering from post partum depression, he would hold her, and me, and tell us both that everything would be ok. When I needed to go back to the doctor because my c-section incision got infected, he took care of both of us and gave me this look that told me he would do anything he could to be there for us. There were moments that I didn't even want to get up and get Grace when she cried because the connection I felt wasn't the connection I thought I should feel. David would get her, rock her and then hold us both. Since Grace was mostly bottle fed, he would get up many nights and feed her, and this not only lasted the first few weeks, but months after. He was the ultimate hands-on dad, and I realize now how lucky I am.

When I had Gabriel, a planned c-section (wooo hoooo!) he took off a month of work so he could be home with me and take care of the things I couldn't do physically. I have had an enormous amount of help raising our children. He takes them to the park so I can go workout, he lets me go on girls weekends when I need a big break, and he wrestles with them on the floor when they need some physical dad time. He helps tuck them in at night making sure they say their prayers, and if he hasn't seen them all day, he won't let me tuck them in at all because he wants and needs that time alone with them. I have been blessed in so many ways.

So now that he's gone for 2 months, I realize all the things he actually does, and I'm blown away at how much he helps! It's just me, myself and I with these kids right now. I have to do everything for them 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. I don't get a break. I have to tuck them in everynight and wrestle with them (poor kids, it's totally not the same as when dad does) I have to be mom and dad and to be honest, it's hard as hell. It's tough and lonely, overwhelming and exhausting. If I have to take one to the doctor, the other one comes with. When I go to the store, they both come with (which isn't a stress free event here people!) Some days I don't know how I survived the day, and most days I don't know if I'm doing things "right" or raising them "right" Some days are fantastic and pure joy. Some days I feel defeated and not good enough.

So I guess my point of this whole blog is to say how much I respect all the single mommies out there. I bow down to you, I really do. I've only gotten a taste, and it's enough to know that it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. I commend you all and think the world of you...and I honestly don't know how you do it everyday without being committed. I'm crazy enough, and I have a significant other that helps out, well, significantly! Yikes! Is there any hope for me?

So to you single mommies, I respect the heck out of you. You should pat yourselves on the back and do a little celebratory jig because what you are doing makes you all super tough bi-otches (and I mean that in the best way!) So, to my friend Alicia, way to go woman! What you do everyday is so amazing and I think the world of you, I really do! So pat yourself on the back and go do a celebratory jig...and tape it so I can see!



So David, I love you and am so proud of you. This experience has taught me that I'm tough and brave, strong and courageous...and I know that I can survive being a single parent (without needing to be commited...yet anyway)......but come home already!!!! I need a break!!! :-)